It Gets Better...Not for Everybody!

In Joelle's blog about "It Gets Better", she argues that it, in fact, doesn't get better, at least not the way that Dan Savage says it does. Joelle Ruby Ryan is a Professor here at UNH. She is a trans-gender woman, with a PhD. She is a very dedicated activist in the LGBT community and works extremely hard to make a stand in what she believes in. 


Joelle argues that, it doesn't get better, refuting Dan Savages statement. As a privileged, white, heterosexual, male, Dan Savage can in no way, tell people who suffer everyday of their lives, that it will get better. Until he has walked in their shoes, he has no right to tell people to "hang in there." Joelle quotes herself as being, "fat and I am trans-gender and I am a feminist and I am queer" (Ryan, 2010). She also states that she is working class, a "first generation college student, a person with six figure loan debt who has no class privilege to fall back upon" (Ryan, 2010). Dan Savage is trying to tell her that "it gets better"? She has spent her whole life working her ass off to make things better, and she has only seen a fraction of success. How long does she have to wait for it to get better? Joelle is a suicide survivor, and makes a very true statement that people who don't understand her situation would think. "Just work hard and you too can get ahead and climb the ladder of success! Just keep on living and don't kill yourself and the world around you will magically improve" (Ryan, 2010). This statement resonates with me so much because I feel that it is what our oblivious, naive, arrogant society thinks about people who do not fit into their white, heterosexual, middle class, american mold. I agree with Joelle in that this is what people think if they don't understand. But part of this problem is the part where people don't even WANT to understand. They don't want to learn about other people and they don't care to look deeper than the cover of a book. It's sad, but true. As humans, we have a tendency to judge, but lets get past this. Next time you meet someone, take some extra time to get to know them. Ask how they are, who they are, and find out more than just what brand of clothes their wearing. Actually get to know someone without judging them. 


Joelle says something that screams truthfulness. "It's not that things get better, it's that we get stronger" (Ryan, 2010). For the past few months, I've struggled with the balance of my life, and the stress and strain being put on me. I'm not by any means trying to compare it to Joelle's strife, but in the same sense, the only reason why I'm still coping is because I've become stronger. The world hasn't changed. The world is the world, and it is what it is. But as an individual, I've become much more aware of my surroundings, feelings, inner thoughts, and I've learned how to deal with them. I feel as though Joelle has done the same. She is in credibly strong, courageous, empowered woman who has started to build her wall of self esteem. We can tell because she is still the amazing activist that she is. She has gotten stronger and stronger as time goes by, but the world has not gotten better.